Mackay_Marvolo's Xanga

Thursday, August 09, 2007

Thu, 09 Aug 2007 05:22:48 GMT

Michael likes:

Kelsey Grammer, Larry David and Woody Allen.
The name Clover.
Aberforth Dumbledore.
The colors: Grey and blue.
The City of God
Relaxation

Michael dislikes:

The name Jacob, and it's concomitant Jake.
People who masticate gum and food loudly.
Family Guy
Chelsea Handler.
The colors: Orange and pink.
Crash
Tension
Rudy Guiliani and Mitt Romney.

Michael: That was pointless.

Me: Only a little bit.

[Five minutes later] The following is meant to be wholly satirical, and may contain spoilers.

Me: So Ron and Hermione spent all that time in that tent alone, when Harry was on watch, and never had sex?

Michael: Apparently not.

Me: I think cock-blocking and not-putting-out are the dark arts.

Michael: That does not make sense. Meanwhile, we should have skipped the list and went straight to this.

Me: Anyway, Bellatrix Lestrange was totally having sex with Voldemort.

Michael: Yeah, when it ended Voldemort would point his wand at her stomach and say Abortio.

Me: For good measure.

Michael: The last thing Voldemort needed was to pay child support.

Me: And obviously, he liked it doggie style. I'm not being obscene that just his modus operandi.

Michael: Yeah, she'd be really permissive in bed, she's that Eva Braun type.

Me: Interesting fact, McGonagall dated Tom Riddle aka Voldemort. They were only separated by one year in school.

Michael: I don't know what to say. I guess McGonagall was a prude in school just hugged her boyfriend, rarely kissed him. A nonamative relationship.

Me: That's so sad about Lily Evans and Severus Snape.

Michael: She was a total cocktease.

Me: You know I heard she gave him handjobs to keep him content and string him along.

Michael: Shocking. If more of these witches put out the wizarding world would be a happier place.

Friday, August 03, 2007

Fri, 03 Aug 2007 03:51:54 GMT

Me: I was watching Jackie Chan on television the other day and I thought to myself he's speaking English inarticulately. And then I thought, he could be like the Chinese Ben Stein and I would never know because I don't speak Chinese.

Michael: Unless someone who fluently speaks Chinese and English said to you, "You know Jackie Chan is like the Chinese Ben Stein."

Me: Well wouldn't they say Ben Stein is like the American Song Yingxing.

Michael: Hmm.
_____________________________________________________

Michael: One of Kelsey Grammer's daughters has just been crowned Miss Teen Malibu and the other is starring in the ABC college dramedy Greek. I think that's salient. When I heard about the latter daughter I thought I wouldn't mind being Kelsey Grammer's son-in-law. His daughter is attractive and all but it's Frasier: he's my dream father-in-law.

Me: ...hmm.

Michael: Not that I put a lot of thought into it...You know, I think marriage is generally absurd and immiserates those who engage in it but it's...

Me: Kelsey Grammer.

___________________________________

Michael: I'm reading Crime and Punishment but I had to stop to read Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows.

Me: You could of finished Crime and Punishment first.

Michael: Yeah, but I don't think anyone going to yell out the ending to Crime and Punishment in public area. And if they did, I don't think it would ruin the experience.

Me: You'd think not.

Monday, July 30, 2007

Mon, 30 Jul 2007 05:41:06 GMT

"An unapparent connection is stronger than an apparent one."
-Heraclitus

"Familiarity breeds contempt."
-Aesop, Fables

Friday, July 06, 2007

Fri, 06 Jul 2007 03:39:46 GMT

Michael: You know, ___________, I think nuance should be lauded above all else. I think if people thought of me as merely "nuanced," not good, bad, noble, or ignominious, they would pay me the highest compliment of all. Forget this ubermensh of Nietzsche.

Me: Odd desire.

Michael: There are moments when nuance guides us well, when explicitness is vulgar. For example there was a time when I desired to say, "I had you didn't I, for a moment in time, I moved in you." However, I realized that it was nuanced to the extent it was vulgar and this person's vulgarities possessed explicitness, to repay one seemed...

Me: Vulgar?

Michael: No. Futile. Explicitness like I had never experienced. They claimed to know you and in so many words to proffer and assert your salience. And in a separate encounter, that resonated with the aforementioned one, they used your name which struck me as the worse vulgarity. However, we were in such a winsome mood, I perverted the meaning of your name in such a way that still makes me shudder. However, you know I guard your name and more importantly the meaning above all else.

Me: But this person seemed to know the meaning in a way that that caused you trepidation.

Michael: Yes, but they did not the appreciate the nuances and to not appreciate the nuances of it is like copying a sentence repeatedly without knowing what it's definition, and more importantly it's intentions.

Thursday, July 05, 2007

Thu, 05 Jul 2007 03:48:35 GMT

Michael: I watched too many movies when I was younger because I think of life like a movie script. I keep expecting for months, years, and moods to be summed up in a musical montage. At pivotal, climactic moments, I expect the camera to slowly pan out, and to find myself three years older in some mundane situation with the audience pondering how that moment so long ago has changed me...perhaps I am "three years later" right now...or a lengthier period of time.

Me: Alas life isn't like that, you will live everyday until one day in an undisclosed period of time you realize you have betrayed everything you once were.

Michael: Now that's perfidy.

Friday, June 29, 2007

Fri, 29 Jun 2007 03:18:29 GMT

Michael: I've always wanted to say to someone I hope your fortune fades. However, the finality of this phrase makes it unwieldy in conversations even when used as a bookend in an argument.

Me: Where did you hear it?

Michael: Oh, it's one of those lines from a song that become worn by the ocean of memory. The original line wasn't quite so funereal.

[I say something of no consequence that nonpluses us both]

Michael: Sometimes I am talking to someone a complete stranger or neighbor and they enter into this contest as to who can out affable who. Usually, I am quite inept at this game but sometimes I do quite well . Once someone said, "Working hard?" I riposted, "Hardly working." Once while I was mowing the lawn, the next door neighbor made a comment about the heat, all of a sudden we are two men having a discussion about heat, mowing yards, and washing cars. My seminal moment was when he mentioned that his yard was larger. I responded, "Yeah, I mowed over there for the last owner; after that I never complained about mowing yards again." He heartily laughed. These moments are few and far between.

Me: I think I going to omit that last thing I said.

Michael: Yeah, it was of no...

Me: Consequence?

Tuesday, May 08, 2007

Tue, 08 May 2007 03:00:07 GMT

Me: Well we haven't done this for awhile--

Michael: For the past few months I have been eating vegan cookies.

Me: That's why?

Michael: No unspecified, undisclosed reasons.

Me: It was your indolence.

Michael: It takes two to tango.

Me: I don't follow.

[Five minutes later]

Michael: Yeah, I didn't realize that they were vegan cookies. I thought they justed tasted funny and were immensely expensive.

Tuesday, April 10, 2007

Tue, 10 Apr 2007 21:16:18 GMT

Monday, April 02, 2007

Mon, 02 Apr 2007 04:53:45 GMT

Michael: When I was younger, I thought children were conceived by the male urinating in the female. And I would think to myself what's stopping a woman from fertilizing herself with my unflushed urine, one of these days?

Me: This was two weeks ago, wasn't it?

Michael: ...no.

Me: What is the significance of that?

Michael: There are such things as layers of meaning which are as unfathomable as webs of mutuality.

[Five minutes later]

Michael: Oh yeah...sustainability.

Me: Hmm.

Michael: I hear that a lot, it's quite the buzz word.

Friday, March 23, 2007

Fri, 23 Mar 2007 05:12:47 GMT

Michael: There is something so ineffable about the ageless Ron Rifkin. Whenever he appears on screen, he can convey a great deal without betraying his equanimity. I guess the first time I saw the venerable Ron Rifkin was in the movie The Negotiator. He is first and foremost a character actor, so his essence was unmistakable but unfortunately for him his face and name were easily forgettable. I next saw him on the conceited (revolving around a fanciful notion) television show Alias; Ron Rifkin again played the cantankerous villain Sloan, emitting and manifesting vitriol, mendacities and insincerities: he once again made my heart swell. His latest project, the television show, Brothers & Sisters, surprisingly, has him as an avuncular, Jewish uncle. How Jewish is he? He can speak Hebrew, he is a chief financial officer at a company, an avid supporter of apartheid Israel, and his name is Saul. Saul, even Woody Allen thought the character was too Jewish. However, I have digressed, Ron Rifkin portrays the character with nuance and aplomb (like he could do it in any other way). Ron Rifkin has done it again.

Postmortem

Me: Did you say apartheid Israel?

Michael: I was trying to be compelling and edgy.

Me: Jimmy Carter would be proud.

Michael: I wish Jimmy Carter was my father.

Me: Didn't do much for Jack Carter. He lost his senatorial election and has his father's bumptious, Andy Griffith looks.

Michael: Poor, Jack Carter.

Me: I concur.

Michael: Meanwhile, God, I love Ron Rifkin.

Me: Don't you mean Yahweh.

Michael: Once this militant Jewish girl (major JAP)...

Me: Look at you, you've been up North for a few months and you're using epithets like that...

Michael: [shrugs] Meanwhile, I am going to abridge the story. Anyway, we were talking about the nature of souls in my Anthropology section- and she said, "Well in my religion blah-blah-blah."

Me: Hmm.

Michael: She was being absurd.

Me: Well this was useless.

Michael: You want to split this into two posts?

Me: I always do that and end up deleting one of them.